Another beauty experiment

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I’m going to give you my review of the possibly newest and latest thing to exfoliate, cleanse and hydrate your skin. First, I showered and shampooed to remove all facial products and grabbed the package.

This product, which shall remain nameless because I don’t get paid to endorse things online. There is one other thing, if I did critique it, they would probably sue me. Of course, I follow all directions, well sort of, but I do my best. I have to read instructions with my glasses perched halfway down my nose, so I can see the writing and my reflection. Maybe I should just go for the instructions.

The instructions for this particular product, a charcoal mask, seemed pretty straight forward. Open the package, I actually got that part without using scissors, then add two cups of water and mix with the enclosed tiny spatula. I poured one cup in and it almost overflowed so I stirred and was then able to add about a half cup more.

Okay, I’ll just use that amount. I had a heck of a time stirring it up in that plastic package, but I finally got it to a liquid stage. A bit too liquid, but I was stuck with it now.

The instructions say to start at your jaw and spread the mask upward and then to your neck. Since I had added too much water, it was a bit thin and dripped onto my chest and my robe. There was way too much mask left over and I hated to throw it away, but I knew it would set up any minute now. Wish Beatrice was here so she could share in this experience.

I managed to gaze into the mirror and since my hair looked like I had been caught in a windstorm and with the mask on, I thought I resembled a tribesman from a remote island. Just to be politically correct, I don’t really know what a tribesman from a remote island looks like but I made a wild guess. Sorry, not sorry, if I offended any remote island tribesmen.

Since I can multitask, I managed to switch out my washing to the dryer and get another load going while I waited 15 minutes. The darned mask is nowhere near dry except around the edges. I look like I have mold on my face. I try to peel it off like the instructions say, but no way is that going to happen. I ended up scrapping it off with my fingers and then using a washcloth to get the rest. It looked like Play-doh!

I checked the mirror. Horrors!!! I had the magnifying side towards me. I could see every wrinkle and pore in my face. After my initial shock I do believe my wrinkles looked 1/1000 better!

I finished up by applying my anti-aging (?) face lotion and tried to tame my hair and headed to the kitchen to finish my latest “what the hell is this” masterpiece. At least Gibbs loves my cooking.

So, there you have it, another lesson for older ladies on how to age gracefully. Save yourself some agony by testing this yourself, just buy some Play-doh, spread it on your face, turn the mirror to a normal image, have a glass of wine and order a pizza.

Reach Kaye Brown at [email protected]

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